The Miss USA pageant used to be a family event for us. Or was it the Miss America pageant? Are they even different things? Whatever, the point is that, as a child, I would sit with my family in front of the TV and we would pick favorites and judge who deserved to win. Not unlike a day at the horse races. It was a chance for me to see women outside of Bowie, which meant they weren’t related to me and, consequently, exotic.
As I grew up and my horizons expanded beyond Rt. 197 and 450, I found myself taking less interest in the televised exploits of Miss Jersey Shore. What she did to achieve that title was more of an interesting talent than the one she performed on stage. Also, I blame the Internet, what with its instant access to smut the likes of which I never imagined.
The fact that the competition was even on TV this year was only brought to my attention by my mom informing me that I should have been in the audience hitting on the contestants. Sure. That’s what the ladies love. A guy shouting lewd remarks at them from a dank auditorium.
Let’s do a side by side comparison, shall we. On the one hand, we have this. Then, on the other hand. Notice the difference? Nah, neither do I.
A few cameos in this strip. Only an uber-nerd such as myself could recognize all of them. If you’re able to pick them out, don’t tell me. Just go outside and start living a normal life. It’s not too late for you!
